Have you ever went to talk with someone and they just go-off, explode, bite your head off, etc…? Have you ever done that to someone else? It happens, a lot, and usually takes the receiving party by surprise.
Have you ever met someone who is very sad, maybe depressed, and unsure how to react?
I bring up these emotions, specifically, because I have found that they are more impacting than their positive counterparts. Very rarely do you meet someone who is so OVERJOYED that you think back on that moment the next day and say, “Wow, Kyle was really really happy yesterday.” It’s more likely to be said, “Man, Kyle really bit my head off yesterday.”
**The previous statements were meant to be generic. If your name is Kyle and you were either REALLY happy or you were REALLY mad, that is completely coincidental.**
In my experience, when these sorts of events happen, we usually take them at face value and either get offended or put-off by them. However, what we are experiencing is the “thunder”. As you have probably heard, thunder always follows lightning. So, the root cause of such a strong reaction, has more than likely already taken place well ahead of when you came across the situation.
More times than not, we hold things in and let them build until a flood of emotion comes out, usually in a negative sense. The point is, you don’t usually know the whole story of why someone acts the way they do. Furthermore, both parties involved could benefit from that knowledge being shared. A lot of times outbursts are cries for help, a desire to be heard. It’s easy to be quick to judge, harder to ask deeper questions.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s hard to swallow an outburst, especially if it seems aimed at yourself. I can’t tell you how many times an outburst ends up causing me to outburst onto someone else.
There’s definitely a time and place to start probing for what lies underneath the surface. So, take time to cool off (or let them cool off) and bring up the subject again. This clears the air. Not only that, but it allows for negative energy to dissipate, thus ending the cycle of lightning and thunder.