Tonight, at bedtime, I held my son for a little longer than usual. I kissed his cheek and whispered in his ear that I loved him.
Today, when they woke up, friends of mine found that their little daughter had passed away in the night after a 2+ year battle with Leukemia. They can’t hold her anymore. They can’t kiss her cheek. They can’t whisper in her ear.
When I found out, I ran…..okay, I walked. I had to get out of the office and walk. Tonight, after I put my son down, I ran. I ran hard. I ran as far as I could before the sun set. Then I came back home and checked on my son again.
It’s hard to find the optimistic point of view here. It’s hard to find the half full glass that is life in this sort of situation. For my friends who are enduring this loss, I have no magic words that will make it better.
This past weekend, my dog passed away. At 6 1/2 years old, I feel that this was way too soon. But now, I realize that she just knew someone was going to need her very soon. In a way, the second death in my life in three days makes the first one a bit easier. I can imagine. I can believe a scenario that makes it work out for those involved.
Would I rather have BOTH of them here alive today. YES. There’s no question. But I find that I need to keep it real. As real as possible. The reality is that they are both gone, so I choose to believe that they are now together. Having fun. Playing. No longer in pain. No longer suffering. Just waiting and making things ready for when the rest of us decide to show up.
That makes it easier.
Until then, I’m going to make sure I hold my son close. Make sure he’s as spoiled as he can be while remaining grateful for what he and what we have.
Enjoy today. Enjoy Life.